Getty Images

As of Wednesday, there are 90 days until the election, and Donald Trump is spending yet another day in "campaign reset" mode after seeming to insinuate that his supporters could either assassinate Hillary Clinton or her judicial appointees.

Advertisement

Will it get better?

Fusion has exlusively obtained a top-secret Trump campaign document that lays out what Donald Trump has in store for his final 90 days of campaigning. Good luck to us all!

Advertisement

August 9: Donald Trump encourages supporters to assassinate Hillary Clinton
August 10: Campaign reset
August 11: Donald Trump wonders why America doesn’t get along better with Boko Haram
August 12: Campaign reset
August 13: Donald Trump floats theory that the real Unabomber was Bill Clinton and they arrested the wrong guy
August 14: Campaign reset
August 15:  Donald Trump’s shortlist for Secretary of State for some reason includes Mayor McCheese  
August 16: Campaign reset
August 17: Donald Trump delivers major foreign policy speech in which he repeatedly refers to the United Arab Emirates as “the Upright Citizens Brigade”
August 18: Campaign reset
August 19:  Donald Trump attempts to start feud with Elie Wiesel, unaware that Wiesel is dead
August 20: Donald Trump challenges Vladimir Putin to a winner-takes-Ukraine arm wrestling match
August 21: Donald Trump asks why white people aren’t allowed to say it, too
August 22: Campaign reset
August 23: Donald Trump dumps top military adviser for having low T
August 24: Donald Trump calls for legislators to return from vacation in order to draft a Men's Rights Amendment 
August 25: Donald Trump calls Paul Ryan “a little munchkin man — a tiny baby munchkin man, with weird teeth”
August 26: Campaign reset
August 27:  Donald Trump promises that he will invest trillions on “making the pre-cogs from Minority Report real and bad-ass”
August 28: Donald Trump says he would "overturn Roe v. Wade, Brown v. Board of Eduction, Marbury v. Madison,  all of 'em, you name it"
August 29: Donald Trump says Bill Clinton was the real-life inspiration for the bad guys in Deliverance
August 30: Campaign reset
August 31: Donald Trump holds campaign event on Ancient Native American Burial Ground
September 1: Donald Trump inhabited by poltergeist
September 2: Donald Trump blames demonic possession on “wicked succubus” Hillary Clinton
September 3: Campaign reset
September 4: Donald Trump blasts Secret Service for not letting him use the codename "Billionaire with the Thrillin' Hair"
September 5: Campaign reset
September 6: Donald Trump speech at Kennedy Space Center includes line that “If we work hard enough, one day we will land on the moon—for real this time.”
September 7: Donald Trump ejects blind girl’s seeing-eye dog from rally
September 8: Donald Trump suggests in follow-up interview that the seeing-eye dog was a member of ISIS
September 9: Campaign reset
September 10: Donald Trump says he knows who killed Jon Benet Ramsey and his name rhymes with “Dill Printon”
September 11: Donald Trump: “Jet fuel can’t melt steel beams”
September 12: Campaign reset
September 13: Donald Trump appears on Carpool Karaoke with Ivanka and insists on doing a duet of “Baby It’s Cold Outside”
September 14: Campaign reset
September 15: Donald Trump wonders why dogfighting isn’t an Olympic sport
September 16: Campaign reset
September 17: Donald Trump, asked by interviewer to name his favorite book, freezes for 65 seconds before finally whispering “Hitler.”
September 18: Donald Trump says his earpiece was malfunctioning, and that his favorite book is actually “Hitler’s Speeches”
September 19: Donald Trump says in statement that his earpiece was malfunctioning again, and that when he said “Hitler’s speeches” what he actually meant was “The Bible”
September 20: Donald Trump says in speech that when he called “The Bible” his favorite book, he was talking about a prized collection of Hitler’s speeches, which he refers to as his Bible
September 21: Donald Trump spokesman clarifies that Trump was referring to the actual Bible, not a book of Hitler speeches
September 22: Donald Trump fires spokesman, clarifies that he loves to read and learn from his absolute favorite book, a collection of speeches by Adolf Hitler
September 23: Campaign reset
September 24: Donald Trump refers to Mike Pence as “MC Peepants”
September 25: Donald Trump retweets message from user @ThirdReichInUSA420
September 26: Donald Trump blames intern for retweeting @ThirdReichinUSA420, deletes tweet
September 27: Donald Trump retweets @ThirdReuchInUSA420 again, with message “We’re bringing the Third Reich to the USA, baby!!! 420 BLAZE IT!!!!”
September 28: Campaign reset
September 29: Donald Trump announces plans to re-open Guantanamo as a casino where the prisoners are blackjack dealers
September 30: Campaign reset
October 1: Donald Trump says his favorite seasons of The Wire are “Season 5, then Season 2”
October 2: Campaign reset
October 3: Donald Trump counters Hillary’s universal pre-K program with a universal Fight Club for Toddlers program
October 4: Donald Trump wonders when this country became so politically correct that you couldn’t even suggest that all 4-year-olds be enrolled in mandatory government fight clubs
October 5: Campaign reset
October 6: Donald Trump announces that the official deodorant of the Trump campaign is Axe Body Spray
October 7: Donald Trump guest-hosts an episode of Flip or Flop and, for the first time in the history of the show, Tarek & Christina lose money on a transaction
October 8: Donald Trump: “Say what you will about Pol Pot, at least he was a leader”
October 9: Campaign reset
October 10: Donald Trump releases official campaign theme song by Gary Glitter, produced by Phil Spector
October 11: Donald Trump shows up to New Mexico campaign event in a head-to-toe Tonto costume that he made Paul Manafort buy him at Party City
October 12: Campaign reset
October 13: Donald Trump suggests America could “stand to drop a few states—definitely Vermont, probably Oregon.”
October 14: Donald Trump accuses Bill Clinton of being behind a spate of shark attacks off the coast of Cape Cod in 1983
October 15: Campaign reset
October 16: Donald Trump’s new economic plan calls for lower tax rates for “ladies with the nice gazongas”
October 17: Donald Trump refers to Hillary Clinton as a “sea-witch”
October 18: Campaign reset
October 19: Donald Trump asks supporters at rally to fire their guns in the air in unison; they accidentally take down a traffic helicopter
October 20: Campaign reset
October 21: Donald Trump fires Paul Manafort for "being a beta"
October 22: Donald Trump begins every answer in CNN debate with “First of all, Wolf: Are you a real Wolf?”
October 23: Donald Trump blasts the PLO, who “haven’t had a good song since Mr. Blue Sky”
October 24: Campaign reset
October 25: Donald Trump repeats rumor in Infowars that “Tim Kaine wears adult diapers, even though he doesn’t need to”
October 26: Donald Trump says he’d like to see more men play in the WNBA
October 27: Donald Trump says he always wanted to be on a Honduran Death Squad

October 28: Donald Trump assures crowd that Tupac wouldn’t have been murdered on his watch
October 29: Donald Trump says that his administration would abolish the FAA because “all those pilots are drunk anyway and how hard can it be to fly a plane”
October 30: Campaign reset
October 31: One of the Trump kids (Eric?) wears blackface on Halloween
November 1: Campaign reset
November 2: Donald Trump instructs supporters to vote for him and also to write in his name in every down-ballot race, too
November 3: Donald Trump wonders why no one’s into Eugenics anymore
November 4: Campaign reset
November 5: Donald Trump suggests raising the drinking age to 30 and lowering the voting age to 7 
November 6: Donald Trump admits that he's only running for president so that he can pardon his good friend Robert Durst
November 7: Donald Trump forgets to vote for himself because he is too angry about something mean that Barney Frank said about him on “Morning Joe”  
November 8: Donald Trump blames his loss on the dishonest media