Whenever we watch awards shows -- like the Grammy Awards, for instance -- we always wonder "What are they thinking?" Not as in, like, "Why is Katy Perry wearing a Ferris wheel," because the answer to something like that is obviously "because it's awesome."
More like... What do they really think about the other nominees? Do their shoes pinch? Are they wondering what's happening on "Girls" tonight? What happens if they need to go to the bathroom? Here, we give our best (and, in the case of "Somebody That I Used to Know" singer and Record of the Year nominee Gotye here, the punniest) guesses as to what the Grammy nominees are really thinking tonight.
Carly Rae Jepsen
Carly Rae Jepsen is up for Song of the Year and Best Pop Solo Performance for her hit "Call Me Maybe." We wonder whether she ever gets tired of hearing her own hit and whether people ever use its catchy hook to hit on her. Probably, right?
Do they ever serve food at the Grammys? If so, do stars like Taylor Swift ever regret eating it? Stuff to ponder as we mindlessly consume an entire pizza while watching the awards at home.
Pop superstar and perfume impresario Justin Bieber isn't up for any awards this year, and we wonder whether he considered showing up anyway, only to run into an (alleged) former flame while on his way to the bathroom.
...Because that'd certainly make things awkward for multiple Grammy nominee and Grammy night performer Rihanna. (Allegedly.)
Chris Brown allegedly got into a fight with Ocean over a parking spot, of all things. And we're pretty sure multiple award nominee Ocean is relieved he won't have to deal with that during the Grammys. #TeamOcean
Do you think stars ever get crushes on other stars? According to our fanfic, best New Artist nominee The Lumineers harbor a collective crush on Bruno Mars.
... And he totally gets why.