PHOTO: A doll who has seen (?) better days.

These Knock-Off Toys Will Delight and Horrify You


It's no wonder that toys coming to life can be both the subject of sweet, iconic, heartwarming tales for children and adults alike, as well as total nightmare fodder used in horror movies. Toys can very, very easily go from the lovable playthings of our childhood to demonically-possessed killing machines that stare at you while you sleep. And knock-off toys? Well, they have the uncanny ability to be hilarious, sad and terrifying all at once, adequately preparing children for an adulthood rife with online dating. Take, for example, this Barbie®-adjacent doll discovered by a Redditor. She's got her eye kind of on you! But, wait. There's more!

If you say so.
PHOTO: Dogs, ostriches. Tomato, tomahto.
Amicable Herculean
These Pubescent Monster Tae Kwan Do Testudines are RADICAL, my homie-bud!
PHOTO: These turtles are both amicable and Herculean.
Spader-Man is fine, sure, but he's just no Carell-Guy.
PHOTO: Because a spider man would be absurd.
Titanic Bot
This is frightening on several levels. Does this mean the Titanic was a sentient being? Or was it controlled by nefarious (and possibly amicable and/or Herculean) forces? Was it murdered? Or did it commit suicide, sending its passengers to a watery grave in the process? Was it drunk?
PHOTO: Insert joke about a sinking feeling.
Bear of the Interest
Silly old soul-snatching bear.
PHOTO: Does this electronic bear remind you of anyone?
Benign Girl
The more popular of the "Totally Tumor Girlz" toy line.
PHOTO: Finally, a toy for benign girls.
Transformable Tomas
If you *really* loved your child, you'd never get him or her a janky, knock-off version of a popular and beloved TV character. You'd get a janky, knock-off version of TWO characters.
PHOTO: Tomas the transformer.
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