Thank goodness Instagram came around when it did. Facebook, Twitter, and Perez just weren't cutting it for me. I needed to actually see how much pancake-face makeup Kim Kardashian was wearing every day, and how many times Rihanna was smoking weed with Chris Brown in a convertible, and not one -- but 14 -- pictures of Ciroc per day courtesy of Diddy. Instagram gave me access to all those things, and for that I am a better person.
Every week I'm rounding up what's trending in the more-awesome-than-yours celebrity world we're not a part of (via Instagram), and letting you wallow in shame here!
Maybe you should've stuck to those acting classes. Or maybe you should've been born looking like this. But it's too late now, so just enjoy other people enjoying life.
This week on Instagram: Babies! ("Dem babies" to quote Mariah.)
Victoria's Secret model Alessandra Ambrosio decided to take her daughter to Coachella with her. Mmm, yeah, that's one way to parent.
Mariah hates leaving "dem babies" when she's off to a job! Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon's kids get a lot of Instagram airtime.
Rihanna with her little... umm... friend?
More booty than friend in this shot.
It's official. Shakira has become one of those moms who posts a million photos of their babies burping. We never thought that day would come, but the power of the newborn baby trumps all.
Another gem on the Instauniverse via Tyga. Is this really the same guy who rapped, "young Nino, f--- a b---- in a pea coat"? Or the guy who told us, "I got ya grandma on my d---"??
Katherine Heigl, who I forgot existed, has adorable kids that she misses all the time. Like, all the time.
Drizzy has a bunch of pics with this cute duo @tspooons. I have no idea who they are but they're cute and fabulous and they need more followers!
I love when Shakira and Gisele write their captions in Spanish/Portuguese and then in English. They're just so international.
Christina Milian is pretty random, but she's got an adorable little girl who runs her Instagram, which led me to "follow" her. Look at that face!