Sure, you might think you’ve had insane nights out in Miami, New York or Vegas. But no matter how hard the U.S. tries to take the debauchery title, Europe is on some next-level untouchable thing. We’re talking about a continent with few legal drinking ages, pesky club-closing times, or many other hangups that might hamper a good time. We’re also talking about the fact that you can hop on a flight that costs like $10 (thanks RyanAir and co.) and get to a different party capital in an hour or less.
That means people start clubbing in their very early teens, island-hopping by U.S. driving age, and going completely balls-to-the-wall by adulthood. Voila: A spate of recent bizarre-but-awesome stories involving the nightlife abroad. While we sit here with our run-of-the-mill bottles-and-models nonsense, we’ll be patiently awaiting our invitations to rage with any of these bar stars currently making the international news rounds.
The promoters behind this party at Berghain
Here’s an amazing combination of good karma with wee-hours insanity. As Spin reported last week, on September 12, infamous Berlin nightspot Berhain is hosting a charity party to support All Out, an international LGBT rights organization. (The event is a response to all of the current anti-LGBT violence Russia.) Charity-type parties happen all the time, but here’s how Berghain works: You show up at the beginning of the weekend at regular-people clubbing time, get a wristband, then leave. The whole thing is to come back when the real party starts, i.e., when people in the States would be going to bed after their night out.
Any of the following people from the recent Roskilde festival
This 42-year-old institution in Denmark is a music festival on the surface, but half of the attraction is the bunch of themed “autonomous zones” that people set up on the grounds within an area known as “Dream City.” The Quietus recently hung out there with Voina, the art collective that spawned Pussy Riot. That’s cool and all, but we’re stuck on the part of the story that mentions a community of heavy metal enthusiasts, a Church of Beer, and something called “the Sensual Society.”
This promoter of naked club nights in London
This recent headline on TheGayUK pretty much says it all: "Has anyone noticed the recent proliferation of naked clubs taking place in London?” The story highlights a guy named David Jaxx, who got his start co-promoting a night called “Starkers” (duh, that’s U.K. English for naked) and now promotes a night called, simply, Nudity. According to the story, it’s become such a thing that certain once-hot fetish clubs in the city have “bowed to pressure” and been forced to hold plain-ol’ naked nights.
Anyone from this international Ibiza drug-ring story
Lest you find yourself behind on U.K. tabloids, here’s a clubbing story with so much WTF it’s hard to know where to start. The basics: Young U.K. nationals Michaella McCollum and Melissa Reid went missing from their summer jobs on notorious party island Ibiza. After an international hunt, they turned up in Peru – where they were allegedly trying to smuggle drugs back to Ibiza. They claim, however, they were forced to do so by a Peruvian drug ring that may or may not be headed by Phil Collins’ nephew.
Other characters in this story involve anonymous club-girl informants, a one-eyed bodybuilder, and a gangster who legitimately calls himself Goldfinger. Okay, so the drug-and-crime part is not something we’d want to be a part of – but imagine their parties before it all went south. Seriously.
Volkan T, the Turkish bodybuilding private-jet trespasser
Give this guy a reserved table in the VIP area of his club of choice for life. Yesterday, a 24-year-old known only as “Volkan T.” managed to climb aboard an empty German government jet and throw a rave for one. Described by the Daily Mail as a bodybuilder, the guy managed to talk his way through security, board German Chancellor Angela Merkel’s jet while “clutching a bag full of marijuana and ecstasy pills.” Then, he “sprayed foam,” released the emergency slide, and danced on the wing of the plane before triggering an alarm and getting caught. So, what did you do on your summer vacation?