'Nsynco de Mayo: A New Way To Celebrate Cinco de Mayo

PHOTO: NSYNCO de Mayo is the new way to celebrate the May 5th holiday.


It's Cinco de Mayo! And nobody knows what it really stands for. Seriously, ask one margarita-swilling person at a bar near you. So we propose an alternative that we can all grasp. 'NSynco de Mayo!

What's 'NSynco de Mayo? I'm so glad you asked. It's the opposite of spending your usual Cinco de Mayo festivities offending Mexicans by drinking margaritas and wearing fake mustaches. Why 'NSync? Well because their third big single "Here We Go" was released on Cinco de Mayo! -- of 1997. (Just go with it.)

Here's how you celebrate:

- Instead of drinking Coronas, drink pop. Dirty pop. Wa-wa-wa-you can't stop.

- To impress your crush, don't ride a mechanical bull in a bar. Do as the lady-killing 'Nsync boys did and pour some water all over yourself in front of your crush while harmonizing with your buddies:

"You know the party's here. Sing along and have no fear. 'NSync is here, to make you people scream."

- Don't go to Party City for sombreros, make a u-turn and head to your nearest ski shop to pick up some down vests.

- Skip the poncho, unless you want to be racially insensitive. Instead, put on every white item you own.

- If you don't do white then put on your chubby older brother's basketball gear and throw on some of your younger sister's tinted blue sunglasses.

- How do you dance like a Mexican, exactly? You can't. It's actually so much easier to dance like a member of a boy band. Do that.

- Good tacos look simple to make, but they're not. Instead, we suggest you make some heart-shaped sugar cookies with your favorite 'Nsync member's name written in blue sprinkles.

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Latin America

Cinco De Mayo: A Guide to Improving a Broken Holiday

(Worth a shot!) But really: Instead of honoring (?) a Mexican battle you--let's be real--don't really know or care much about, why not use this date at the perfect opportunity to celebrate Latinos' (and particularly Mexican-Americans') contributions to the U.S.? Raise a glass of agua fresca (or, fine, your favorite mezcal-based concoction ) to, say.... Dolores del Rio (actress who played an influential role in the Golden Age of Mexican and Hollywood movies) Cesar Chavez (civil rights activist and founder of the co-founded the National Farm Workers Association along with...) Dolores Huerta (...who is also a recipient of the Presidential Medal of Freedom) Ellen Ochoa (former astronaut and the first Latina in space) Ricardo Montalbán (iconic actor whose career spanned seven decades, and who was also a noted Corinthian leather enthusiast .) Selena (Tejana singer, named "Best selling Latin artist of the decade" by Billboard before her untimely death) Cherríe Lawrence Moraga (author and feminist activist who co-founded Kitchen Table: Women of Color Press, the first publisher dedicated to the works of WOC) Anna Maria Chávez (first, and current, Latina head of the Girl Scouts of the U.S.A.) Jorge Ramos (We think you might have heard of him around these parts.) And, most importantly.... Dress Small Dogs as Piñatas Here is a handy tutorial on how to create the perfect costume for a slightly bewildered pug.