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Marco Rubio has a pair of fancy boots. They are black and shiny, and have what I would call a mid-heel. Good for the days when you're on the move but still want a little height. A fine boot.

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Everyone is talking about these boots, including The New York Times,Vanity Fair, and other Republican presidential candidates.

Here is a pretty representative tweet from Ted Cruz's rapid response director, Brian Phillips, on Rubio's fancy boots.

Now here is the thing: This tweet suggests that Cruz has not, himself, also worn fancy boots.

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I am here to tell you that's a lie.

In fact, the current Republican presidential field is basically a fancy boot-off.

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Exhibit A: Ted Cruz's boots

Ted Cruz has fancy boots
Scott Olson

From another angle:

So fancy
Mark Wilson

Shiny? ✔️

Mid-heeled? ✔️

Pointy toed? ✔️

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Ornately decorated? ✔️

Verdict: Fancy boots.

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Exhibit B: Jeb Bush's boots

Shiny? ✔️

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Mid-heeled? ✔️

Ornately decorated? ✔️

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Pointy toed? ❌

Verdict: Fancy boots.

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Exhibit C: Rick Santorum's boots

Rick Santorum has fancy boots
Scott Olson

Shiny? ✔️

Mid-heeled? ✔️

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Pointy toed? ✔️

Ornately decorated? ✔️

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Verdict: Fancy boots.

Exhibit D: Mike Huckabee's boots

Mike Huckabee has fancy boots
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Shiny? ✔️

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Mid-heeled? ❌

Pointy toed? ✔️

Ornately decorated? ✔️

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Verdict: Fancy boots.

Now maybe some of you will say, "No, those are just cowboy boots! Cowboy boots are different than fancy boots!"

Wrong. Cowboy boots are shiny, have mid-height heels, are ornately decorated, and are fancy. They are fancy boots.

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