Last second drama in Group E opener

This is the game everyone circled on their calendars once the schedules were announced. The hype machine didn’t go into sleep mode to save up energy for this one. But don’t let that fool you—there was some exceptional talent on the field, and it had the most exciting ending of any game in the tournament thus far. Let’s go to Brazil’s capital, Brasilia, for our favorite GIFs.

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Switzerland’s Valon Behrami’s actually thinks he did nothing wrong.

 

attempt

Shaqiri (no relation to Shakira) had the best chance of the match, but his shot went straight to Dominguez and his tender arms.

 

goal

Enner Valencia’s goal. This is what happens when you don’t pick a side, Switzerland.

 

fan

Like I said … oxygen … energy … altitude. Even the Ecuadorian fans are feeling it. This isn’t even in slow motion.

 

attempt2

Here’s Switzerland’s Gokhan Inler sending a loving shot right past the Ecuadorian goalkeeper’s tender arms.

 

blowing

What is there to say that this picture of Swiss coach Ottmar Hitzfeld doesn’t explain? His troops have shown a lot of promise, but seem to be allergic to scoring. If things continue as they did during the first half, I can’t see that continuing long. Also, Hitzfeld looks more like Walter Matthau. I’ve been thinking about that.

 

foul

Perhaps there was a penalty missed in the first half. Me? I’m neutral on the topic. Get it. Neutral … on the topic. Neutral. Switzerland. Neu-tral.

 

swissgoal

Admir Mehmedi cheats on Tender Hands.

 

yellow

Juan Carlos Paredes was booked for this foul. This isn’t why I’m going to write a letter to his coach suggesting counseling; it was his non-reaction that I found problematic.

 

rush

Benaglio’s decision to leave the box nearly costs Switzerland. If Benaglio’s decision-making was more neutral, he wouldn’t have been in this mess. I call this indecisive commitment.

 

swissgoal2

 

What a finish. There have been a ton of goals so far in Brazil. Despite the torrential rains, the Soccer Gods have been blessing us. Whatever we’re doing, we have to keep on doing it. Ecuador had their moments today, but you have to say that 2-1 probably reflects the balance of play. It was a committed performance by the Swiss, despite all of their neutrality baggage. If any play captured the game’s flow, it was the game’s last sequence. I’ll leave you with that. Until next time. Ta.

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