In the first game of the 2015-16 Premier League season, Manchester United beat Tottenham 1-0 thanks to Kyle Walker’s generosity and Spurs being, well, Spurs.
But because all action coming to a dead halt after that 22nd minute goal, there was plenty of time for the internets to talk about anything other than the way the players were playing.
When people weren’t talking about United’s banished goalkeepers, they started asking about one of the club’s new signings: Memphis Depay, the 21-year-old Dutch international who’d come over from PSV.
What was with this young upstart, anyway, that he felt the need to use his first name rather than his last? Where did he think he’d come from? Brazil?
Turns out the attacker has chosen not to identify with his father, who split up with his mother when he was four and has been absent most of his life. According to SoccerGods’ God of Dutch Soccer Things, Depay Senior did the dirty after coming into lots of cash:
Memphis it is, then. But please, enough with the jokes based on a song that’s nearly 25 years old.