Lick My Love Trump

Inside the wild, weird world of Donald Trump parody porn and sex toys

Elena Scotti/FUSION

If frog lips or an orange combover are the sort of thing that turn you on, this election season has been a gift. For just $24.42 (plus shipping), a blow up sex doll in the image of Donald Trump can be all yours. You can spice things up with Trump-themed porn or erotic e-books, of which there are dozens with titles such as “Trump Temptations: The Billionaire & the Bellboy” and “Putin on the Trump: A Vladimir Putin Donald Trump erotic journey.” There is even a Trump butt plug available for purchase.

Perhaps more than any other presidential candidate in recent history, Donald Trump has inspired a sprawling oeuvre of parody by porn. His viral baboonery and contradictory relationship with sex makes it the perfect medium for satire. Trump is, after all, a candidate who managed to brag about his penis during a Republican presidential debate while promising to crack down on porn.

“He is a cartoon character and those kinds of figures are the easiest to critique in a simplistic manner through porn,” said Hallie Lieberman, a sex-toy historian at the University of Wisconsin. “He’s a character very much driven by emotion—he’s all ‘id’ and so is porn. Porn and sex toys can be vulgar and over the top just as Trump is.”

Porn, it turns out, has a long history of being used as a form of political commentary.

“Porn and sex toys are already political, so making Trump the subject of them sends a really strong message,” said Lieberman. “At least in our culture, Trump on a butt plug delegitimizes him. His sexuality is being used against him to make fun of him all over the place.”

Turning the political into the sexual can be a powerful form of political speech. In America, the most infamous producer of porn as political statement is Hustler publisher Larry Flynt, whose most well-known parody was a 1983 satirical ad in the magazine skewering conservative preacher Jerry Falwell, titled “Jerry Falwell Talks About His First Time.” In 2008, Flynt weighed in on the election with a political satire of Sarah Palin called “Who’s Nailin’ Paylin?

In Europe, from the 16th century through the end of the French Revolution, porn was often used as a political weapon to inspire change and revolution.

“Pornography was the name for a cultural battle zone,” wrote historian Lynn Hunt.

In France, for example, pornography was once used to attack the French court, the monarchy, aristocrats and the church. Filthy propaganda and sexual fantasy played a major role in the undoing of Marie Antoinette. During the French Revolution, dissenters portrayed King Louis XV with a flaccid penis in order to cast doubt on his reign. Suggesting he was impotent, historian Robert Darnton says in his book on pre-revolutionary France, “drained him of his charisma and emptied the power from the symbolic apparatus of the monarchy.” Circulating images of Louis XV as a limp-dicked monarch also helped to spread the idea that he was, as Darnton writes, “a ‘feeble tyrant.'”

A pornographic political cartoon depicting Marie Antoinette and General Lafayette.

A pornographic political cartoon depicting Marie Antoinette and General Lafayette.

But, Lieberman told me, while virility was symbolic of political prowess in France, the image of a well-endowed candidate bucks against American values.

“In America, we take down our politicians if they are too sexual, just like Anthony Weiner,” she said. “If a man is perceived as having an erection all the time, it delegitimizes them…it shows him to be a man driven by instinct and reptilian emotional desires, like sex.”

Take the Donald Chump Love Doll, for example, which features a perpetually erect penis. The packaging is the place of real commentary, with product endorsements from Hitler, David Duke, Stalin and the KKK. “China built a wall and they have no Mexicans!” and “Make America hate again!” the box reads. (“He is the only presidential candidate whose policies can be fully explained on the back of a blow-up doll package,” Lieberman wrote on her blog).

The Donald Chump Love Doll.

The Donald Chump Love Doll.

In the porn parodies of Trump, the messaging is even more direct, and also more absurd. Hustler’s The Donald begins with a shot of Trump reading Mein Kampf for Dummies, declaring to a half-naked female advisor that he plans to fuck the middle class hard. In another, Make America Gape Again, five men in suits wearing Trump masks gangbang a woman wearing an American flag. Interspersed with news footage, the criticism of Trump is more explicit than the sex itself. In the end, a broken down and disheveled America cries out that this isn’t how she thought things would be.

“The truly scary thing has been his rise to power,” the film’s director Maitresse Madeline Marlowe, told adult industry website XBIZ. “At least a gangbang is consensual.”

'Make America Gape Again' is a porn that parodies Trump by portraying him gangbanging America.

'Make America Gape Again' is a porn that parodies Trump by portraying him gangbanging America.

The Trump butt plug was intended specifically as a critique of Donald Trump’s homophobia. Artist Fernando Sosa was inspired to make the sex toy by Trump’s comments about his opposition to same-sex marriage. (Trump himself has asserted he would be “much better for the gays” than Hillary Clinton.)

“I think of them as a 3D political cartoons,” said Sosa, who has also made a butt plug of Stalin. “The butt plug is an easy concept to grasp.”

buttplug

The Donald Trump butt plug

In one Trump erotica novel that flew off of Amazon’s virtual shelves earlier this year, the author chose to depict Trump as gay.

“His voice wrapped around my body like queso around a smothered burrito,” the male narrator says, describing a sexual encounter with Trump. “With his oily orange skin glistening in the sunlight as if he were a soggy Cheeto, his hair unkept and messy, like a gorgeous rat’s nest. He was beautiful.”

Trump, of course, isn’t the only candidate to have his likeness immortalized by the sex industry. There is also a Hillary Clinton butt plug and blow-up doll; Bernie Sanders inspired the “Feel the Bern” condom. But with these Democrats, the message is more jovial fun-making than serious critique. “She’ll share her Oval Office with you,” the packaging for Clinton’s sex doll reads.

Lieberman told me that the wide assortment of sexy Trump stuff speaks to both the outrage against him and his overt sexuality. Porn, she said, may be the only thing actually bombastic enough to take on Trump’s explosive rhetoric.

“He’s a super sexual guy and he’s acting in this false way, like he’s a paragon of family values,” said Lieberman. “Porn best shows his hypocrisy.”

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