conspiracy theories

Donald Trump’s spokeswoman has a psycho new theory about why the latest groping allegations aren’t true

Screenshot via CNN

Katrina Pierson, the Donald Trump spokeswoman who will always go there while defending her boss, pulled out some elaborate knowledge about vintage planes on Wednesday night to argue the GOP nominee couldn’t possibly have groped a women in the early 1980s.

Pierson was on CNN after the New York Times published new allegations about Trump’s sexually inappropriate behavior, with one woman alleging the real estate mogul lifted the armchair rest between them and started groping her on a first class flight to New York more than 30 years ago.

Of course that didn’t sit well with Pierson, noted aviation historian.

Asked about the latest allegations, the spokeswoman said, “I do not believe it at all” before things got really technical:

We’re talking about the early 1980s, Don, seriously? Back then, you had planes, what, a DC-9 a DC-10, an MD-80, 707, and maybe an L-1011?

But she said specifically this was to New York, and this is what’s important, so we can ex-out the L-10-11 and the DC-10. I’ll tell you what, first class seats have fixed armrests.

So what I can tell you about her story, if she was groped on a plane, it wasn’t by Donald Trump, and it certainly wasn’t in first class.

Here’s to hoping “first class seats have fixed armrests” is the new “jet fuel can’t melt steel beams.”

You can watch her remarks here:

And, as a terrible bonus, here’s Pierson suggesting later on in the segment that these women are only now coming forward so they can have their “15 minutes of fame.”