The following is a poem made up of actual news headlines written about Ken Bone, a man who asked a question about energy policy at the second presidential debate.
Step Aside, Barb from Stranger Things:
Ken Bone Won the Second Debate.
Snoop Dogg Wants to Get Ken Bone High;
Ken Bone’s Debate Question Was Pretty Great.
From Regular Guy to America’s Last Hope:
America Needed A Hero; Ken Bone Answered the Call.
Joe Jonas Is Man Crushing on Hero Ken Bone;
Ken Bone’s Christian-Pop Cover Bandmate Dishes All.
Chelsea Handler Wants to Have Kids with Ken Bone.
How Does Ken Bone’s Son Feel about His Dad’s Fame?
Ken Bone Has Gained Followers, But Also Death Threats;
Ken Bone Is Killing It at the Internet Fame Game.
“Ken Bone and Chill” Is the New “Netflix and Chill”:
Ken Bone Just Got At Least One Dude Laid.
Everyone Needs to Calm Down, Let Ken Bone Carry On—
What Should Ken Bone Endorse? Red Lobster? Kool-Aid?
We May Be Leaving the Ken Bone Zone;
The Illusion of Ken Bone Was a Giant Lie.
Ken Bone on J-Law: ‘I Saw Her Butt Hole. I Liked It.’
An Internet Star Is Born, and Dies.
Ken Bone’s Icky Internet Activity Was Dug Up, Of Course
Ken Bone Thought Trayvon Martin’s Killing Was ‘Justified’;
Watch Bill Maher CALL OUT Ken Bone;
Ken Bone Is Actually Kind of an Awful Guy.
Oh, Ken Bone! The Internet Giveth, and Taketh Away!
Ken Bone Is Not as Wholesome as He Seems;
Ken Bone Has Ken-Bonered His Way Out of America’s Heart:
This Is What Happens When Real Humans Become Memes.
Young Americans, You Can Learn a Lot from Ken Bone,
The Deplorable Pervert, the Red-Sweatered Fool.
This Is Not Just About Ken Bone:
The Internet Dragged Ken Bone, and It Will Drag You, Too.