Humor

10 New Year’s Resolutions You Can Never Keep

Alicia Menendez and guest host Sara Haines share the top ten New Year’s resolutions that nobody can keep, but everybody continues making.

“It’s a time to make promises that we’ll never keep,” says Alicia.

Year after year we promise ourselves we’ll get in shape, or quit smoking, or give up gluten. Then by week three, we’re back to eating Nutella out of the jar with a cigarette in one hand and a baguette in the other.

Why can’t we keep these goals for ourselves? Why are we so inclined to disobey our own desires? Are we allergic to changing for the better? And why can’t we just freakin’ grow up?

We can’t… because growing up is also on our resolution list.

Here are Alicia and Sara’s Top 10 New Year’s Resolutions That They Can’t Keep But Continue Trying:

10. Get organized

9. Lose weight/get fit

*The trick: find more realistic thinspirations

8. Dress like a grown up

Say goodbye to Forever 21.

7. Learn how to cook

6. Stop obsessing/worry less

This is probably the most difficult resolution to date.

5. Brush your dog’s teeth more often

4. Remember birthdays

This is basically the only useful function on Facebook today so use it.

3. Be more patient

2. Stop hoarding

I like collecting things as much as the next girl, but keeping your ticket stub from a 1997 showing of ‘Titanic’ Sara?? No no no no no.

1. Save money

What are YOUR resolutions this year, and do you think you’ll keep them? Tweet us the best resolution you followed through with at #AMTonight! And good luck everybody!

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