Crocodile dundee stand-in Vladimir Putin told a “media forum” (?) this week that the Internet was and is still a project of the CIA, and that to resist the American cyber-spies, Russia needs to fight for its interests on the web.

The Russian judo master’s comments were immediately reported on the CIA-controlled Internet.

Reached for comment, a secret source in the CIA who spoke to Fusion confirmed that “[REDACTED].”

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