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Donald Trump gave an apology speech in Charlotte, N.C., on Thursday night.

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I know this because

And because Kellyanne Conway, Trump's new campaign manager, said on Good Morning America that people should show the Republican nominee "some forgiveness" after the speech.

@braddjaffy

Wow, an apology. I love apologies.What's in this apology? Probably some good stuff. Let's see:

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As you know, I am not a politician. I have worked in business, creating jobs and rebuilding neighborhoods my entire adult life. I’ve never wanted to learn the language of the insiders, and I’ve never been politically correct—it takes far too much time, and can often make more difficult.

OK.

Sometimes, in the heat of debate and speaking on a multitude of issues, you don’t choose the right words or you say the wrong thing.

We're heading somewhere, I think.

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I have done that, and I regret it, particularly where it may have caused personal pain. Too much is at stake for us to be consumed with these issues. But one thing I can promise you is this: I will always tell you the truth. I speak the truth for all of you, and for everyone in this country who doesn’t have a voice.

Wait.

Let's search the text of the speech for the word "sorry."

Now let's search "apologize."

Wow, there are eight instances of the word. That's a lot of apologizing.

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Wait.

To recap:

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Donald Trump regrets the way he said something he said. Because the thing he said, which he won't say, may have caused someone personal pain.

But he also means everything he's ever said.

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The end.