Didier Drogba turns his talents to rap, enlists Kurt Zouma for help

Gather your loved ones and celebrate! For the first time in 2015, we’re going to center a story around Chelsea that doesn’t involve some kind of terrible human behavior, internal conflict, or general cheesiness.

In an effort to balance the karmic scales, the center of all things good in the Chelsea universe, the anti-John Terry, Didier Drogba has shared a video of himself and teammate Kurt Zouma rapping in French — as The DrogFather featuring Zoumanaaan — on the way back from a game (or practice, or Whole Foods, or Dave & Busters, I don’t know). It’s what the Chelsea-sphere needs right now.

Whoooooooo! This is straight 🔥🔥🔥!

“Some stuff in French that may have rhymed.” – Didier Drogba and Kurt Zouma

I don’t speak French in the slightest, but I will not live in a world where the great Didier Drogba, a.k.a. King Ultra Perm, a.k.a. Your Old Drogz is spitting trash bars on the internet. As far as Zouma goes, he gets a pass-by-association. Co-signs are everything in Hip-Hop. They’re why you (I) bought all those Memphis Bleek singles in high school. If an unknown talent stands next to the right guy, suddenly he’s a star. Then again, co-signs are also how Tyga — the Mix Diskerud of rap — came into our lives, so maybe I should reserve judgement on Zouma’s career for a little while longer.

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