On this week’s episode of The A.V. Club, I get to know the features of the new iPhone X. In this illustrated overview, I delve deeper into the coolness and the consequences of these cutting-edge technological attractions.
1. It’s All Screen
The Good: If you’re still not going to use a case, you at least look like a cool, dangerous risk-taker instead of just horribly irresponsible.
The Bad: More surface area to shatter while you’re gesturing emphatically at a party.*
*on the toilet.
2. Wireless Charging
The Good: No more active frayed wires underneath your pillow, so you can sleep soundly without the panic of burning alive in the night!
The Bad: You’ll either have to leave your phone alone until it’s done charging or you’ll have to hover over it like an overly-attentive new parent in order to post that picture you took of split pea soup to your seven Instagram followers.
3. Water Resistant
The Good: Your phone won’t break when you accidentally drop it in your beer at a party.*
The Bad: Since it still functions, you’re gonna put that toilet phone right back up against your face.
*in the toilet.
4. Animoji/ Augmented Reality
The Good: The iPhone X is so exclusive and expensive, the chances of your 9-year-old cousin sending you nonstop messages of themselves as a cat are slim to none.
The Bad: Nonstop messages of your wealthy uncle Richard as a cat will drain your battery every day for six months.
5. Face ID
The Good: The chances of a stranger being able to unlock your phone with their face is one in one million.
The Bad: That used to be a romantic compliment and is now just a real statistic.