Ballaban: BECAUSE IT’S A SHOW FOR YOU, A SHOW FOR THE NORMALS, WHO WANT TO WATCH THE GOOD CAR THINGS DURING LUNCH OR LIKE IF YOU NEED A NEW SHOW TO BINGE BECAUSE GAME OF THRONES IS DONE FOR A WHILE AND THERE’S NO PEAKY BLINDERS EITHER AND THE JOHN OLIVER SHOW IS ONLY ON LIKE, ONCE A WEEK OR WHATEVER, SO MAYBE TRY THIS SHOW? IT’S SOMETHING TO WATCH, AT LEAST, YA KNOW?

Sam Smith: Mike, good yell. Gentlemen, this has been enlightening. Thank you for your time. Also, I now feel slightly dirty. I’m going to go scrub my hands with antibacterial soap for 20 minutes.

Raphael: Fast Orange is recommended.

Sam Smith: Anything else you want me to put in the post?

Raphael: I’m Features Editor. Mike is Deputy Editor. We both own decrepit European people’s cars, we’ve both driven Dakar-winning race trucks, and we can’t agree about anything.

Sam Smith: That’s a ridiculous and barely useful bio. It also makes you sound like you both live in an MTV house show, and then, in, like, episode two, you’re caught making out over the bidet.

Sam Smith: So I’m totally going to use it.
***
Shameless plug for our show, one more time: That’s Car vs. America, Oct. 18, on Fusion TV! Try it! You might like it!

Sam Smith is a Road & Track editor-at-large and Jalopnik alum. Sam spent a year here as features editor, back when the Internet was made entirely out of old Edison bulbs and pixellated dreams, before going on to write for places like The New York Times, Wired, and Esquire. You may remember him for this story or possibly this one, with the donuts. (You may also remember that he introduced the world to Bill Caswell. Applaud or boo as necessary.)

Because we like Sam, we’re going plug him even more: That’s Sam Smith, Road & Track, cars and neat writing and adventure stories and fun stuff, plus a monthly column in the magazine. Follow him on Twitter and Instagram: @thatsamsmith